submitted by David
1. You NEVER have to wine and dine a beer.
2. Your beer will always wait PATIENTLY for you in the car, or, anywhere else for that matter...
3. When a beer goes flat, you TOSS IT OUT!
4. Beer is NEVER LATE.
5. Even HANGOVERS go away, eventually.
6. A beer doesn't get jealous when you go for another beer, even from THE SAME 6 PACK.
7. Beer labels can come off without a fight. You just use a whole lot of HOT WATER.
8. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up another beer.
9. No beer has EVER had a headache.
10. After you have a beer, you can also cash in the bottle.
11. A beer won't get upset when you come home with beer on your BREATH.
12. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
13. You can have more than one beer a night - and NOT FEEL GUILTY.
14. A beer ALWAYS goes down easy.
15. You can SHARE a beer with your friends, too.
16. You always know that YOU are the FIRST ONE with this beer.
17. A beer is ALWAYS wet.
18. Beer doesn't demand EQUALITY.
19. A beer DOESN'T CARE when you come, or, when you COME HOME!
20. You can have a beer IN PUBLIC PLACES.
21. Even a FRIGID beer is a good beer.
22. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
23. Beer always comes in multiples of six.
24. Beer doesn't mind laying in the "wet spot" that IT left.
25. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
26. Beer doesn't mind if you burrrppp back into the bottle.
27. A beer never costs you more than two dollars, and it never leaves you thirsty.
28. When this beer is gone, you just try another.
29. You've never found beer labels hanging on the shower curtain rod, have you?
30. Beer ALWAYS looks the same in the morning.
31. Beer doesn't call you up in a month, at your next job.
32. Beer doesn't worry about your roommate walking in.
33. Beer doesn't worry about waking "THE KIDS" or "THE CATS."
34. Beer NEVER gets CRAMPS.
35. Beer doesn't have MORALS.
36. Beer doesn't GO CRAZY once a month, or more...
37. Beer always listens and NEVER argues.
38. Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
39. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
40. Beer doesn't have cold hands or feet.
41. Beer doesn't need much closet space
42. You can keep beer in the basement for months without a complaint.
43. A beer can't give your herpes - or other nasty things.
44. Beer doesn't complain about the way YOU DRIVE.
45. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch, anytime.
46. Beer NEVER changes its mind.
47. Beer doesn't tease you or play HARD TO GET.
48. Beer never asks you to use the remote control to change the station.
49. Beer doesn't make you GO SHOPPING!
50. A beer won't ask you why you spent so much time with other beers last night.