Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

ANSWERS:

• Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
  
  
• Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
  
  
• Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
  
  
• Ronald Reagan: I don't recall.
  
  
• Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
  
  
• L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
  
  
• Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
  
  
• Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
  
  
• Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens.
  
  
• Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I've not been told!
  
  
• Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
  
  
• Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
  
  
• Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
  
  
• Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,"What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
  
  
• The Pope: That is only for God to know.
  
  
• Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
  
  
• Colonel Sanders: I missed one?