God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire
submitted by Feklhr

Adapted from "God Wants to Know"
© 1993 B.C. Brown
http://www.espressopress.com/



God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.

Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about God?

__ Newspaper
__ Television
__ Divine Inspiration
__ Word of mouth
__ Near Death Experience
__ Bible
__ Torah
__ Other (specify): _____________


2. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? Please check all that apply.

__ Tarot
__ Lottery
__ Horoscope
__ Television
__ Fortune cookies
__ Ann Landers
__ Self-help books
__ Sex
__ Biorythms
__ Alcohol or drugs
__ Mantras
__ Insurance policies
__ Other: _____________________
__ None


3. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer (circle one)?

a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
d. Don't know


4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the following (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):

a. Disasters (flood, famine, earthquake, war)
1 2 3 4 5

b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous remission of disease, sports upsets)
1 2 3 4 5

5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if necessary):
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________


Thank you!


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