Michael Kennedy and Sonny Bono Jokes
It has just been reported that Michael Kennedy's last words were, "Sonny Bono, go long. "
Q: What was a common factor in the deaths of Chris Farley, Sonny
Bono and Michael Kennedy ?
A: A white powdery substance.
Q: And why did Sonny Bono ski into the tree??...
A: It's always been a good political move to keep up with the
Kennedys.
Duet sung together by Michael Kennedy & Sonny Bono
(to the tune of: "I got you Babe")
PINE TREES HURT BABE
I don't know, but I been told,
that skiing's not a good idea when you're old....
Well, I don't know if all that's true,
but I believe that wood's not all that good for you...
Pine trees hurt babe....
On my face babe....
They don't move babe....
What's the title of Sonny Bono's new hit single?
"I Got Yew, Babe...."
Why did Sonny die in a ski accident?
After being a mayor and a congressman, he wanted to be a
Kennedy.
What's the difference between Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy?
About five days.
Police reported Sonny's passing was a quick death. Just like his
solo career....
What preceded Sonny Bono's senseless death?
Sonny Bono's senseless life.
How was the body found?
Sonny side up.
What kind of tribute should Cher perform at Sonny's funeral?
A moment of silence.
How do we know Sonny was a politician at heart?
At the very end, he was stumping.
We are all mortal. And in the end, Sonny was just ski and bones.
What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
John Denver made it alive out of Aspen.
Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"
How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy?
Check the family tree.
How will the priest begin Michael Kennedy's eulogy?
"We are gathered here together on this slalom occasion...."
A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at
the snow-covered knoll...
What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
-- Wood pulp.
New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...."
What's an event you don't want to be at?
-- A Michael Kennedy New Year's Bash
What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers?
A1: One more bullet.
A2: A season lift pass.
SUNG TO THE TUNE, "I GOT YOU, BABE"
Mike Kennedy: They say that we can't go down the hill,
Before we go we should really write a will.
Sonny: Well I don't know if all that's true,
Watch out for that bush, 'cause I think it really grew.
Sonny: Tree
Both: I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
Mike: They say football on skis is really dumb,
Before we know it we' ll both be very numb.
Sonny: I guess that's so, the wind's in our hair,
You did the sitter, but baby I did Cher.
Sonny: Tree
Both: I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
Sonny: I got flowers on my grave.
It was stupid. We seemed brave.
Mike: And we weren't drunk, just acting like clowns.
We didn't see the tree, but we sure found the ground.
Mike: Don't let them say that we can't ski,
We were doin' pretty good 'til we hit that goddamn tree.
Sonny: So I put my little hand on the branch,
Thought I' d break my fall, but wound up buying the ranch.
Sonny: Tree
Both: I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
Sonny: I had Cher to hold my hand.
Mike: She had you then found a real man.
Sonny: I had Newt to think with me.
Mike: I had Ted to drink with me.
I went and kissed that tree goodnight.
Split my skull from left to right.
I hit the tree, I can't let go.
My blood is dripping on the snow.
Both: Tree
I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.