Only in America...
| ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. |
| ...are there handicap-parking places in front of a skating rink. |
| ...do drugstore make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can get their cigarettes at the front. |
| ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet cola. |
| ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. |
| ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. |
| ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. |
| ...do we buy hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. |
| ...do we use "politics" to describe the process so well — 'poli' in Latin meaning "many," and 'tics' meaning "bloodsucking creatures." |
| ...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. |
| ...can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. |